Why Tony cried when he got gum on his shoe
by Olive nerd
Summary: He's flawless. He's impenetrable. He has to be ironclad. He must be. He can't afford any dents, any sticky situations.


Why Tony cried when he got gum on his shoe

**This takes place after Iron Man 3 and, obviously, contains spoilers for that movie and The Avengers. I don't own the Avengers, the Iron Man film trilogy, any comics, or anything else mentioned or implied here. Also, this is my first Iron Man fanfic. I hope it goes well! **

He didn't miss the shrapnel. He didn't miss the arc reactor. He wasn't even a hundred percent sure he missed Ironman, not at this point. Sure, pretending to be a hero was amusing for the infamous billionaire and playboy, but he was no real hero. So, why should he continue gaining the attention from those real heroes, those real martyrs?

Pepper, to start with, deserved everything he had to earn. She was the savior, not him. Then, there was Happy and Rhodey and JARVIS. What would he had done without them?

"Am I PMSing again?" Tony Stark could not afford to be this emotional about a few skirmishes. Okay, to the average Joe the term "skirmishes" did not remotely describe the trek he took. But for him, it should have fit nicely. Why, then, was he brooding?

"Sir." JARVIS woke him from his musings. "You have sluggishly confined yourself in this laboratory for eleven hours now, doing absolutely nothing productive. You need your sleep and energy."

"Yes, Mother Hen. It's not like I have anything better to do!" He kept himself distracted with a broken camcorder. What was that doing beside Dummy?

"As you have finally noticed," JARVIS began icily, "everything is out of place and has remained that way ever since your mission with the Avengers..." The artificial intelligence system knew he hit a nerve, but there had to be a way to get to Tony.

His creator in slouched in his seat, too dazed to speak any more. The past few days kept him quite silent that even JARVIS, who often grew annoyed with his big mouth, attempted multiple times to engage in a conversation with him. Tony was shutting everybody out: Pepper, Happy, and now his AI system.

"You have not had a drop of water either," JARVIS chided. "If you would just listen, sir, for once to my warnings and not think again about, about New York-"

Tony rushed out of the lab, fed up with his creation, with the seclusion he once indulged in. A shaky, sweaty hand crept to his chest, countenance sour. "I'm heading out. Don't bother cooking up anything. I'll be back by four. What time is it?"

"2:53 p.m., sir." JARVIS didn't bother hiding the reluctance in his voice, but Tony ignored it and headed out of his tower.

"Keep the place shut down till I get back."

"Of course, sir, whatever you say."

Pepper called four times. He didn't care. He needed to be alone, to find the time and effort to just relax. After he encountered Loki, the Chitauri, and Killian, Iron Man was as good as dead. But then, what happens to Tony Stark? That right there was the billion-dollar question for the billionaire with questions.

His father wanted him to be better, stronger, smarter. His teammates wanted him to be better, stronger, smarter. Pepper deserved more, much more, than himself and all that. She didn't deserve a hollow shell, derived from metal.

As he wandered through streets swamped with industrious people, his thoughts blurred together, and thereupon rearranged themselves back to a small boy, Harley. How was he? What did he think of Tony now? As Iron Man? As a Stark? As something far more profligate?

Inexplicably, he suddenly could not move. He was stiff and stuck. Something was keeping him back again. What was happening now?

Tony bit back a groan and stared down at his brown Propét Montclair Featherlite Dress shoes. His great aunt Antonia, on his mother's side, gave them to him. It was a parting gift, unblemished, untouched-

"!" He resisted all traces of cussing with great difficulty. Underneath his left shoe was a hairy, gooey wad of bubblegum. It tarnished the shoe's heel and kept Tony as its hostage. The mess could not be cleaned, not in the middle of witnesses. But, he's flawless. He's impenetrable. He has to be ironclad. He must be. He can't afford any dents, any sticky situations.

The flash of a paparazzi's camera energized Tony to a sprint, left shoe left behind. Great. Now he had to buy new shoes, except new shoes would not replace the joy he received when he strutted in Stark Industries in those beauties. They would not replace the day he met his team, the Avengers, or when he terminated Iron Man forever.

He failed them again, his team.

Tony glanced over his shoulder as he slipped on some sunglasses. Fans were going insane as he made a beeline back to his tower.

The tabloids would rant about that for a few hours at the most, before they dissected more flaws out of public images, piece by piece.

He failed them again. He tarnished them.

They never wanted me on the team, Tony realized. That's what I've been avoiding: their judgment. That's why Tony Stark makes no friends. That's why Tony Stark could never provide enough for sweet Pepper Pots. That's why he was becoming emptier and emptier. No one deemed him worthy.

He yawned in both of his hands, reaching home sweet home with one shoeless foot. He left it there. No, he left them there to wonder why he wasn't enough for anybody.

Why wasn't Tony Stark enough? He broke down, like he did over gum on his shoe. He did not have the will to retreat back to fantasy nor the bravery to revisit his messes. He just kept on running. Those instincts were why he left the shoe, the present from another, and did not remain with the paparazzi or rescue his shoe.

He was in the same game of running again, of leaving. He left Pepper's love. He left the Avenger's hope, left them to fall. He left Harley. And now, he left part of his great aunt's gift to him, only him.

The mendacity of his supposed eternal identity as Iron Man was thrown back in his face. That wasn't enough. Nothing was enough, and nothing ever will be. As long as he tried to be the best, the flawless hero, he would run and fall and bawl and basically break down again.

Tony Stark bawled over gum on his shoe; he was just a rich playboy. He was never able to clean the mess up himself. He never could. He'll never escape the wormhole.

**Don't get me wrong, faithful viewers! I love Tony! I just wanted to try to go deep within his character. Please review and tell me what you think! **


End file.
